meet 'The Athlete'

i should probably tell you a little bit about The Athlete, as some of you are wondering what was so awful about this man.
well, like any new beginning in a relationship, the first month was perfect. it was fun. it was fun getting to know this person, talking every night, cute little emails at work.

well... about three months in, The Athlete started to show his true colors.
Here are some of the things about him that i couldn't tolerate:

1- always being available.the problem: at first, it was cute... always keeping tabs on me. wanting to know where i was all the time. and for a brief interlude i enjoyed it. it made me feel loved. but... one time i went to bed a little early and didnt let the athlete know. that's when i found out this person needs to know where i am at ALL times. i woke up to voice mails and texts. and believe it or not, he got mad at me for this! it snowballed after that.

2- i went on vacation and didnt call him everyday.
so i took a little trip that i had planned at the start of our relationship. of course i didnt invite him along. well, as time wore on, he whined about it. like cried about it. when i went on my trip, i got so wrapped up in my friends and activities that i didnt call. honestly, i didnt think that would be a problem. well... it was a HUGE problem and i heard about it for week when i returned.

3- he told me i shouldnt be so involved with my family.
yup, true story. i come from a family where everyone is very close. the grandparents, the aunts, the cousins, etc. so some weekends it can be a little daunting seeing everyone, etc. well... this was a problem for a man who was an only child from the smallest family i have ever known. maybe it was jealousy? i dont know, but he started making remarks about some family members and i did not appreciate that all. also, he didnt understand why i had to be with them all day on christmas. what?!! you are kidding me. in fact, it still pisses me off the more i think about it.

4- my girlfriends are homely and matronly.
yes, another true story. when you fuck with my two best friends who are beautiful inside and out and who come from wholesome families, you get at least five strikes against you. because through all of the relationships, new jobs and deaths, these two women have been there for 10 years without fail. but do not ever makes remarks against them, especially when you havent even met them! asshole!

5- i don't wear stripper gear.
i love strippers. i have met some really amazing one and understand they do what they do to make some cash. i can respect that! BUT... i dont appreciate being asked to dress like a stripper in the bedroom. i don't appreciate being asked to buy clear, plastic heels. The Athlete had a fetish for strippers that was deeply disturbing, especially when mentioned on the second date. i brushed it off. but COME ON! do not tell me about your undying love for women in the clear plastic shoes and white thigh-highs and ask me if i have a pair and can i please wear them the next time we hang out. i'm not a prude by any means, i have some stories that will make your grandmother curl up into a ball, but some things... i dont know.

6- don't keep videos where i can find them.
oh yeah... right there on the desktop was a folder called "heather." well, that is my name and also the name of an ex before me. i opened the folder because i thought maybe it had pictures in there that i had taken or that we had taken together. well... i found movie files with titles like "H_tabledance" and "H_spreadeagle" and "H_inthebath." the contents were disturbing as fuck. he actually played a video for me. no joke. and you guessed it. some of the vidoes involves the shoes.

that's the short list. i am happy that i got that off my chest!! i needed to just get it all out.

there you have it. The Athlete.