when expectations rise by the minute

short. (no one is above 6 foot)
republican. (you know where i am going with this)
gray hair.
raybans.

my matches have been awful. i specifically have my match credentials set to 25-34. i must have disappointed the online dating gods and now they are trying to teach me a lesson in passing judgment.
"what the eff! she closed another one! what a picky bitch.pull out the big guns, boys"
or
"ladies and gentlemen.. we have an over-crowding cat lady in the making. she will find shit in her shampoo before she finds a mate. let's fuck with her."

click. click. ew. close. click. this one isn't so bad. click. no fucking way. close.

well, i found one. although a little short. he is cute. he is a democrat. likes good music. and has a masters in urban planning. which, coincidentally, is just what i want to go back to school for.
we shall name him Ripped. because, ladies... this man is ripped. (yeah, i myspaced stalked him. but you are asking for it if you don't put your profile on private.)

so for the past week or so, we have been having these great "you've got mail" type of conversations. pondering the world. talking music. and more importantly talking about ourselves. i race home and check my account for new messages. check my account before i go to bed. check my account while brushing my teeth in the morning. and i can't help but feel a little excited about Ripped.

but... as with all online matches... you never know what you are going to get until it is sitting across a table from you while you stir your vodka-tonic nervously. i have high expectations with this one, folks. high. and he is ripped. and as with all women who feel a little self-conscious about their beyonce butt, it's not always pleasant to date a man who is in better shape than you.

and let's say the veil of disappointment is lifted from my head and placed onto his. will he think i am dishonest because i may not look entirely true to form from the pics i have posted on my profile? i dont have any recent ones posted. the most recent is from '07. that is when i felt hot. i was happy. and in bridesmaid mode so my hair and skin were perfect and i was tan, for fear of three seperate bridezillas.

because i don't feel like myself anymore, i am afraid that i don't look like myself anymore. so i just hope the disappointment doesn't carry over.

because if this person can make me feel as giddy and as happy has i do over a few silly messages, then there could be some hope, here.

the vetrianno print posted has nothing to do with anything. i just love it and wish it was summer.