crap, i left my machete at home today

do you know what i absolutely hate??
i hate when you take a coveted vacation day on a friday for a nice long weekend. you come back to work semi-recharged. well, not recharged and full of energy, but calmer.

as you are waiting for your computer to log you in and warm up, a co-worker approaches you all frantic and asks, "did you read my email?"

um, no asshole, i haven't read a single email. (the rest of my responses vary from reality to the venom i was spewing in my head)

oh, so you didn't read it, did you.

did you hear a word i just said?

well, i need you to send out this press release like five minutes ago.

ok, well when i see it, i will send it out.

also, what was with that email from our client asking for that document?

um, i told you guys on thursday before i left that you would have to send it out friday because i wouldn't be here.

well, i didnt hear anything about that.

of course you didn't, that would require thinking and doing.


happy monday, everyone. can i go home yet?